Beautiful Soul

This particular blog should have been written first, but sometimes good things aren't always given to us up front!

I couldn't think of a title for the blog until I read two words at the end of my sister's text message. It said "Beautiful Soul" and I thought, 'Wow. That's a great set of words!' I had to use it! Thanks Cecile!!!

This blog came into existence so that I may share the advice I've given others on various relationship matters. I learned there can be no testimony without a test. We are brought into situations in order to learn and then testify on how we made it through. It is my hope that this blog will give you the vehicle you need to move past your past and share your own personal testimony with others.

As the bi-line of this blog says:
A blog to help release pain of past relationships and find your way back to a beautiful soul. A warm, fun and exciting way of letting go of the past and stepping into a beautiful future!

The blog's goal is to help someone, in some way, to release the pains of past hurts in order to build on a beautiful self, a beautiful future, and most importantly, a Beautiful Soul!

A Beautiful Soul means that you're okay with who you are and with the life experiences you have encountered. You are not perfect but all the good and bad events have not broken you. Instead, they made you stronger. You live life as best you can without allowing the trials and tribulations from your past to hold you back.

We all need a push from time to time. It can be hard putting yourself or what happened to you out there. It must happen in some fashion, however, so that you can learn from it and move on.

I intend to write about various matters, which I hope will touch the lives of women and men all around the world. ENJOY!!!

(Photo courtesy of Google images)

Deja Vu

Sometimes you are in a situation that reminds you of a previous place in your life. You realize that everything seems the same or, for a minute, you are back at a place from some time ago, however, you truly are not. In other words "the illusion of having previously experienced something actually being encountered for the first time." (Dictionary.com) That is called Deja Vu.

We will step into situation(s) which may feel like something we have encountered in the past, but it will be entirely new and we should treat it as such. Take all the experiences and treat them as individual occurrences.

No two people can or will give you the same treatment. Do not allow minor similarities between one person, and someone from your past, to jump to the forefront. It is not good to hold others accountable for things they are not responsible for. Let that person carry their own load, instead of piling on something you are carrying from your past that another has left with you.

When that flash happens (for a second you feel as if a situation is repeating itself), stop and pay attention to how that specific memory or moment made you feel. Attempt to acknowledge where you are in your current relationship, and more specifically the instance that brought about the feeling of Deja Vu. Write it down, if necessary. Do what you can to understand why it is you're feeling the way you do but don't dwell there long.

Once we overcome a situation(s), we can then move forward with a better understanding of where we were and where we should be. Our trials and tribulations give us building blocks. Sometimes those situation(s) return again because we did not learn the first time around. Draw strength from the memory in order to propel yourself forward.

Don't live in the illusion of the Deja Vu. Instead, walk away with the understanding that some situations return so that we may now take note or make change as we move forward. Deja Vu can help but only if you allow it to be a brand new situation.

Pinning yourself under thoughts of how things could have or should have been won't help your current or future relationship(s). Again, use the building blocks life give you to rise above it all!

(Photo courtesy of Google images)

Know the back story

In life we are all not privy to someones back story but, we really should be. We should question those we are with or intend to be with to find out where they are coming from or better, where they have been in their life and living.


Knowing the back story defined as "1. The experiences of a character or the circumstances of an event that occur before the action or narrative of a literary, cinematic, or dramatic work; 2. A prequel" The Free Dictionary. You must know where a person is coming from in order to understand where they are going.

The ability to communicate is the greatest item a person possesses. Talking to someone or being inquisitive about how they came to be where they are, or how they are, is the best way to learn a person's back story. Knowing what a person has dealt with in their lives is a certain way to know how you must proceed with the individual, if at all.

In this McDonaldization of Society (wanting everything fast) we do not realize that certain things take time. We think we want to know everything, but our curiosity is not patient enough to sit still and find out everything we need to know before jumping into a relationship or to leave the person alone.

More often we go into situations with a predetermined desire or idea. Sometimes we judge a person by the way they look, which does both parties some injustice; we assume the best or worst of a person without truly getting to know them. It's only after we spend quality time learning a person, however, that we know who and what we are dealing with.

What's your back story? Even better, what's the back story of the person you are with or intend to be with? Have you sorted out all the intricacies of the individual?

In the past I, too, was guilty of not doing my homework or learning the full scope of a person before dating them. Once in the relationship, however, it may be a little too late to pull out (pardon my pun). We often dive into caring for and loving a person that may not be our proper fit, but that doesn't have to be.

I suggest we spend more time courting or dating the person we perceive may be right for us. Get to know where they came from physically, mentally and emotionally. Share your own back story, especially if it contains things which may hazardous to the other person's health. Allow yourself to take in all the person is sharing and then decide whether the totality of the situation is what you want to endeavor.

Gentlemen.....a friend of mine always said: A big booty and a smile can only last a while.

Ladies.....his suave and debonair styling may be just a puff of smoke covering the real person.

Let's work on putting forth all our cares and concerns and not be blinded by what we see initially. Learn the person. Allow them to learn you. Knowing the back story will help to build a great relationship.

(Photo courtesy of Getty Images)

Pick your colors wisely!

Okay, lets have a little fun on this blog and talk about color!


Do you know what your favorite color says about your personality. I found the greatest website. (Check it out for detail on other colors). The site breaks colors down as follows:

Red is the color of fire and blood, so it is associated with energy, war, danger, strength, power, determination as well as passion, desire, and love.

Orange combines the energy of red and the happiness of yellow. It is associated with joy, sunshine, and the tropics. Orange represents enthusiasm, fascination, happiness, creativity, determination, attraction, success, encouragement, and stimulation.

Yellow is the color of sunshine. It's associated with joy, happiness, intellect, and energy.

Green is the color of nature. It symbolizes growth, harmony, freshness, and fertility. Green has strong emotional correspondence with safety. Dark green is also commonly associated with money.

Blue is the color of the sky and sea. It is often associated with depth and stability. It symbolizes trust, loyalty, wisdom, confidence, intelligence, faith, truth, and heaven.

Purple combines the stability of blue and the energy of red. Purple is associated with royalty. It symbolizes power, nobility, luxury, and ambition. It conveys wealth and extravagance. Purple is associated with wisdom, dignity, independence, creativity, mystery, and magic.

White is associated with light, goodness, innocence, purity, and virginity. It is considered to be the color of perfection.

Black is associated with power, elegance, formality, death, evil, and mystery.

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You're probably like "she must not have anything to write about!" lol......that's absolutely false.

I sit and watch people. I see patterns in what people wear. Some probably don't realize they are prone to wear a certain color depending on a situation. People do gravitate towards a favorite color. I often wondered what that color said about them and their personality. In my inquisitive nature, I looked up colors.

I am fond of purple. Actually, I down-right love everything purple. I read what purple says about me and found it fit me to a tee! I was totally amazed by that.

Okay, so what's your favorite color? Does your color choice properly describe you or some of your traits and characteristics? I'm curious.

Stop through and share your thoughts.

(Picture courtesy of Google images)

Leaves, Branches and Trees

Have you seen the stage play "Madea Goes to Jail?" Well, Ma-to-the-D-E-A drops knowledgeable messages in every play!

One such message was: (I'm paraphrasing and putting my own spin on it)...

People are either leaves, branches or trees in our lives.

If a person is a leaf, they will blow away at the first sign of trouble. They are not strong people. Their place in your life should be minimal, because they will only be with and/or for you when times are good. The minute things get bad, they are out!

Then there are the branch people. These people are a little better than the leaves. They are a little stronger but can't really take the weight a true friendship holds; they break when things get too heavy for them to bare. When the branches break, you are left to fall flat on your back. A branch won't even have the stamina to reach down to pick you up. Branches want to support you but are good for your light-weight issues only!

Lastly, the tree people are the best and long lasting of them all. These people have roots firmly planted in your life. No matter the storm, they will stand firm. Tree people are grounded and not worried about how many leaves that blow off or branches that break. Tree people remain sturdy and prepared to help you with whatever life threw at you. These are the people you should try surround yourself with always!

Now, that little analogy should teach us something. We have different types of people in our lives, however, we need to make sure they are all in their proper categories. You don't want to give a leaf a tree's issues. It won't even be around to help you deal. You don't want to hold something back from the tree and give it to the branch. Before you know it, that person has broken down and can't be of any assistance to you.

The weak ones (leaves) need love as well, but make sure you don't put too much stock in that type of person/friend. The leaves are gone before you know it; they lack permanency. The moderate ones (branches) are so-so in the quality of friendship they will give and/or provide to you. Most often they are okay with your positive issues but when the weight of the negative issues hit, they are out. The strong ones (trees) have built their lives on a solid foundation. They are stable and understand nothing in life is perfect. When the storms of life roll in, you can stand behind them and feel comforted by the strength exhibited to help you wade out the storm(s).

I'm a firm believer that people come into our lives for a reason, season or lifetime. People are also broken down as a leaf, branch or tree in your life. Deposit those around you into the perfect category.

Classification works in every aspect of your life. We don't often put people in specific areas/places in our life, but we should.

The realities are: Everyone is not your "friend." Everyone doesn't have your best interests at heart. Everyone doesn't want you happy or to see any form of happiness around you. Everyone can't help you through everything life throws at you. We can't pick our battles, trials and tribulations, but we can pick the portion of a tree we choose to help us along.

(Picture courtesy of Google images)