In life we are all not privy to someones back story but, we really should be. We should question those we are with or intend to be with to find out where they are coming from or better, where they have been in their life and living.
Knowing the back story defined as "1. The experiences of a character or the circumstances of an event that occur before the action or narrative of a literary, cinematic, or dramatic work; 2. A prequel" The Free Dictionary. You must know where a person is coming from in order to understand where they are going.
The ability to communicate is the greatest item a person possesses. Talking to someone or being inquisitive about how they came to be where they are, or how they are, is the best way to learn a person's back story. Knowing what a person has dealt with in their lives is a certain way to know how you must proceed with the individual, if at all.
In this McDonaldization of Society (wanting everything fast) we do not realize that certain things take time. We think we want to know everything, but our curiosity is not patient enough to sit still and find out everything we need to know before jumping into a relationship or to leave the person alone.
More often we go into situations with a predetermined desire or idea. Sometimes we judge a person by the way they look, which does both parties some injustice; we assume the best or worst of a person without truly getting to know them. It's only after we spend quality time learning a person, however, that we know who and what we are dealing with.
What's your back story? Even better, what's the back story of the person you are with or intend to be with? Have you sorted out all the intricacies of the individual?
In the past I, too, was guilty of not doing my homework or learning the full scope of a person before dating them. Once in the relationship, however, it may be a little too late to pull out (pardon my pun). We often dive into caring for and loving a person that may not be our proper fit, but that doesn't have to be.
I suggest we spend more time courting or dating the person we perceive may be right for us. Get to know where they came from physically, mentally and emotionally. Share your own back story, especially if it contains things which may hazardous to the other person's health. Allow yourself to take in all the person is sharing and then decide whether the totality of the situation is what you want to endeavor.
Gentlemen.....a friend of mine always said: A big booty and a smile can only last a while.
Ladies.....his suave and debonair styling may be just a puff of smoke covering the real person.
Let's work on putting forth all our cares and concerns and not be blinded by what we see initially. Learn the person. Allow them to learn you. Knowing the back story will help to build a great relationship.
Knowing the back story defined as "1. The experiences of a character or the circumstances of an event that occur before the action or narrative of a literary, cinematic, or dramatic work; 2. A prequel" The Free Dictionary. You must know where a person is coming from in order to understand where they are going.
The ability to communicate is the greatest item a person possesses. Talking to someone or being inquisitive about how they came to be where they are, or how they are, is the best way to learn a person's back story. Knowing what a person has dealt with in their lives is a certain way to know how you must proceed with the individual, if at all.
In this McDonaldization of Society (wanting everything fast) we do not realize that certain things take time. We think we want to know everything, but our curiosity is not patient enough to sit still and find out everything we need to know before jumping into a relationship or to leave the person alone.
More often we go into situations with a predetermined desire or idea. Sometimes we judge a person by the way they look, which does both parties some injustice; we assume the best or worst of a person without truly getting to know them. It's only after we spend quality time learning a person, however, that we know who and what we are dealing with.
What's your back story? Even better, what's the back story of the person you are with or intend to be with? Have you sorted out all the intricacies of the individual?
In the past I, too, was guilty of not doing my homework or learning the full scope of a person before dating them. Once in the relationship, however, it may be a little too late to pull out (pardon my pun). We often dive into caring for and loving a person that may not be our proper fit, but that doesn't have to be.
I suggest we spend more time courting or dating the person we perceive may be right for us. Get to know where they came from physically, mentally and emotionally. Share your own back story, especially if it contains things which may hazardous to the other person's health. Allow yourself to take in all the person is sharing and then decide whether the totality of the situation is what you want to endeavor.
Gentlemen.....a friend of mine always said: A big booty and a smile can only last a while.
Ladies.....his suave and debonair styling may be just a puff of smoke covering the real person.
Let's work on putting forth all our cares and concerns and not be blinded by what we see initially. Learn the person. Allow them to learn you. Knowing the back story will help to build a great relationship.
(Photo courtesy of Getty Images)
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