Did you sink, swim or wade in the waters of life after your last relationship?
To sink is to give into whatever a person put upon you at the end of the relationship. Your relationship cast a big weight of doubt upon you and left your mind, and heart heavy. Your self-esteem and self-worth has been rocked and you question so much about yourself and future relationship endeavors. In the end, you lack the energy required to move through the rest of your life.
To wade is not much better than sinking after a relationship. You resign yourself to consuming all a past relationship tossed upon you and are now content with remaining where you are in life and love. You know that you should be moving on, but staying in the waters of "hurt" makes you content. You're "maintaining," which means that you're not moving fast enough to truly stay afloat for very long.
To swim is to understand where you are in your life and to roll with the punches, after your relationship has ended. No matter the emotional stress your relationship put upon you, you realize that you're not to blame for the shortcomings of the person who you were with. Instead, you understand that the person had things with and within them that was not compatible to you. You swim knowing that you are no less of a person because of a failed relationship.
Far too often, we drown in the madness that surrounds us after a relationship is over. Sadly, we are also prone to bringing more weight with us while entering the waters of a fading(ed) relationship. We allow the person we were with to fill our hearts and minds with unnecessary things. We concentrate more on the negative of the relationship. We hold onto the minor "good" a relationship held and attempt to push those thoughts to the forefront as reason(s) for holding on.
Learn from a relationship's past experience(s). Find the lesson, learn from it and move on. Understand a person's role in your life is not as task master for your future. Instead, they may be the object you need to push you past a certain point in your life.
Everything happens for a reason. It may seem like the world has ended and you can't continue. Look for the blessing in everything and realize that the person wasn't meant for you because the relationship was allowing for your internal growth.
Swimming is great exercise. It works your body and heart. Choose to swim and get your entire self in order for the next great experience in love, life and living!!!
To sink is to give into whatever a person put upon you at the end of the relationship. Your relationship cast a big weight of doubt upon you and left your mind, and heart heavy. Your self-esteem and self-worth has been rocked and you question so much about yourself and future relationship endeavors. In the end, you lack the energy required to move through the rest of your life.
To wade is not much better than sinking after a relationship. You resign yourself to consuming all a past relationship tossed upon you and are now content with remaining where you are in life and love. You know that you should be moving on, but staying in the waters of "hurt" makes you content. You're "maintaining," which means that you're not moving fast enough to truly stay afloat for very long.
To swim is to understand where you are in your life and to roll with the punches, after your relationship has ended. No matter the emotional stress your relationship put upon you, you realize that you're not to blame for the shortcomings of the person who you were with. Instead, you understand that the person had things with and within them that was not compatible to you. You swim knowing that you are no less of a person because of a failed relationship.
Far too often, we drown in the madness that surrounds us after a relationship is over. Sadly, we are also prone to bringing more weight with us while entering the waters of a fading(ed) relationship. We allow the person we were with to fill our hearts and minds with unnecessary things. We concentrate more on the negative of the relationship. We hold onto the minor "good" a relationship held and attempt to push those thoughts to the forefront as reason(s) for holding on.
Learn from a relationship's past experience(s). Find the lesson, learn from it and move on. Understand a person's role in your life is not as task master for your future. Instead, they may be the object you need to push you past a certain point in your life.
Everything happens for a reason. It may seem like the world has ended and you can't continue. Look for the blessing in everything and realize that the person wasn't meant for you because the relationship was allowing for your internal growth.
Swimming is great exercise. It works your body and heart. Choose to swim and get your entire self in order for the next great experience in love, life and living!!!
(Picture courtesy of Google images)
I am in between wading and swimming. My last relationship ended horribly (a year ago), and my mind still gets populated with negative things. As a black woman I find that I compare myself to other black woman and sometimes wonder what did I lack that might've caused him to deceive me. But as you said, I have started to realize that I am a beautiful person inside and out despite the experiences I had with him. I am still learning how to swim!
ReplyDeleteVery poignant. I can relate and chose to swim.
ReplyDeleteLove it.
T. Daniels
Black Coffee...although your mind is still fixed on the break up, realize that it's past. A year is a long time. Purge that negativity from your body, mind and soul. You're an awesome person and so beautiful. You're destined for success in so many genres.
ReplyDeleteLearn from your experience. Don't look at what happened badly, but learn from the good parts. Take that lesson and shelve it so you don't repeat the past.
Someone sent me this today: "Yesterday is a canceled check. Tomorrow is a promissory note, but today is ready cash. Don't worry about yesterday. You can't control tomorrow. All you really have is today. Make it the best day ever. You will never see THIS day again."
Thanks Jahlea I needed to hear that! :)
ReplyDeleteFantastic...but Joyce, women who get this are the ones that read articles like this the most. Its the women that are continuing to sink and be mired in their misery that will overlook this because it will force them to have to look into their souls too deeply...too much self analyis will have to be done for them to even get your sink, swim, or wade analogy!
ReplyDeleteGreat BLOG!
Great point SassyScribe! So, how can we reach them? Any ideas? I'm open to putting as many "catch" words out there so the blog can be picked up on a google search. You never know when one may feel brave enough to begin analyzing herself and her situation.
ReplyDelete