Response to Yovnda

I hope my response to a comment Yovnda had to the "Get over It" post will help someone else.

She wrote: "Joyce i be trying to leave him because i know the feeling between us is gone we will get along for a week and next week we will be beefing over something petty as him being mad because my son's father bought me a chicken box he just so insecure about everything but i been through so much i don't even care no more my feeling is not the same and i know as soon as i get over this loneliness feeling i will completely let him go i just be praying asking God to take the desire away but i know i came a long way because i use to let him upset me but i don't even get mad no more because the more we beef the further my feeling for him die away and i know it's a matter of time i will walk away and don't turn back."

Yovnda...I understand where you are coming from, but I’m confused. You said you are done and don’t care about him or the relationship. My question to you is, WHAT’S HOLDING YOU BACK FROM LEAVING?

Your mate is giving signs of a man that’s not satisfied or may be looking for an out himself. He’s picking fights over things that are insignificant. He’s not giving you anything worthwhile; he’s not feeding your emotional soul.

Love is not supposed to hurt. It may feel funny at times, but it's not supposed to make you feel lost within your relationship.

He is not my concern, however, you are. You speak on getting over loneliness in order to completely let him go. So, are you settling? Having part of a man is just as bad as having no man at all.

God is here to help us, but we must begin by helping ourselves first. You need to start loving who you are for every good and bad feature and characteristic. You need to realize that you are more than comforted by HIS presence and your love for yourself. Loving you is what will give you the ability to shut down those relationships that are unnecessary and draining.

A friend gave me a piece titled “Energy Vampires.” It speaks of those individuals who leave you drained and tired of dealing and listening to their constant melodrama. It would appear the person you are in a relationship with is an energy vampire. So, do you continue to live having him suck the very life out of you?

You must realize where you are in life and whether it can get better or should simply be let you. Going back to an old post, you need to get your garden in order. The man is a weed. He appears to be infecting everything around you. Don’t let it continue or you’ll never be able to see the sun. The weeds will kill your entire precious garden and life.

Remember to always love you first. Fall back in love with Yovnda again.

Once you begin to love you, you will realize that no other person can grant or take away your joy! You will have total control.