I hope my response to a comment Yovnda had to the "Get over It" post will help someone else.
She wrote: "Joyce i be trying to leave him because i know the feeling between us is gone we will get along for a week and next week we will be beefing over something petty as him being mad because my son's father bought me a chicken box he just so insecure about everything but i been through so much i don't even care no more my feeling is not the same and i know as soon as i get over this loneliness feeling i will completely let him go i just be praying asking God to take the desire away but i know i came a long way because i use to let him upset me but i don't even get mad no more because the more we beef the further my feeling for him die away and i know it's a matter of time i will walk away and don't turn back."
Yovnda...I understand where you are coming from, but I’m confused. You said you are done and don’t care about him or the relationship. My question to you is, WHAT’S HOLDING YOU BACK FROM LEAVING?
Your mate is giving signs of a man that’s not satisfied or may be looking for an out himself. He’s picking fights over things that are insignificant. He’s not giving you anything worthwhile; he’s not feeding your emotional soul.
Love is not supposed to hurt. It may feel funny at times, but it's not supposed to make you feel lost within your relationship.
He is not my concern, however, you are. You speak on getting over loneliness in order to completely let him go. So, are you settling? Having part of a man is just as bad as having no man at all.
God is here to help us, but we must begin by helping ourselves first. You need to start loving who you are for every good and bad feature and characteristic. You need to realize that you are more than comforted by HIS presence and your love for yourself. Loving you is what will give you the ability to shut down those relationships that are unnecessary and draining.
A friend gave me a piece titled “Energy Vampires.” It speaks of those individuals who leave you drained and tired of dealing and listening to their constant melodrama. It would appear the person you are in a relationship with is an energy vampire. So, do you continue to live having him suck the very life out of you?
You must realize where you are in life and whether it can get better or should simply be let you. Going back to an old post, you need to get your garden in order. The man is a weed. He appears to be infecting everything around you. Don’t let it continue or you’ll never be able to see the sun. The weeds will kill your entire precious garden and life.
Remember to always love you first. Fall back in love with Yovnda again.
Once you begin to love you, you will realize that no other person can grant or take away your joy! You will have total control.
Monday, March 16, 2009
Sunday, March 15, 2009
Is your garden in order?
More often we wonder why certain things or people have been removed from our lives. What occurs is our garden (our lives) is pruned.
If you've ever worked in a garden, you know that plants, shrubs and flowers grow best when they are cut back. In the same vein, our lives require the same care and attention.
In order to grow, you must be ready to plant seeds of hope in your garden. You must be willing to let go of those things that are no good for you. They are weeds. Weeds often disguise themselves with flowers. If not removed they slowly take over your garden.
To have a beautiful life (garden) you need to rid yourself of the weeds (people that are holding you back, people and things taking over your life and whatever is stopping your growth).
You must give your life the same care and attention that you do your garden. You don’t leave weeds to take over the garden. You pull and clip them until they are all gone and never to return. You work until you see the wonderful colors, fragrant flowers that a well-kept garden has.
On another note, you must not wish for the return of people you know, in your heart, are no good for you or your garden. Everything happens for a reason. Most times, the removal of bad people and situations is the work of a higher power. Those items are removed so that you can finally blossom and grow. You were pruned.
Allow yourself the time necessary to let your garden bloom without the threat of weeds taking it over and killing everything you are trying to do that will benefit you.
It is almost April. We know that April showers bring May flowers. This is your season. It’s time to put those weeds in the garbage; out of your life so that your garden can grow. Moreover, get rid of those weeds (the people who aren’t good for you, negative thinking, the distractions and whatever is holding you back), so that the beauty of new flowers with great colors can shine through.
When you realize that you don’t need those items (the weeds) in order to grow, you will come into the sun. The sun will cast an awesome glow and you will require only moderate care to continue to blossom.
After you take care of that patch, more people will see and appreciate the wonders of your garden and life!
If you've ever worked in a garden, you know that plants, shrubs and flowers grow best when they are cut back. In the same vein, our lives require the same care and attention.
In order to grow, you must be ready to plant seeds of hope in your garden. You must be willing to let go of those things that are no good for you. They are weeds. Weeds often disguise themselves with flowers. If not removed they slowly take over your garden.
To have a beautiful life (garden) you need to rid yourself of the weeds (people that are holding you back, people and things taking over your life and whatever is stopping your growth).
You must give your life the same care and attention that you do your garden. You don’t leave weeds to take over the garden. You pull and clip them until they are all gone and never to return. You work until you see the wonderful colors, fragrant flowers that a well-kept garden has.
On another note, you must not wish for the return of people you know, in your heart, are no good for you or your garden. Everything happens for a reason. Most times, the removal of bad people and situations is the work of a higher power. Those items are removed so that you can finally blossom and grow. You were pruned.
Allow yourself the time necessary to let your garden bloom without the threat of weeds taking it over and killing everything you are trying to do that will benefit you.
It is almost April. We know that April showers bring May flowers. This is your season. It’s time to put those weeds in the garbage; out of your life so that your garden can grow. Moreover, get rid of those weeds (the people who aren’t good for you, negative thinking, the distractions and whatever is holding you back), so that the beauty of new flowers with great colors can shine through.
When you realize that you don’t need those items (the weeds) in order to grow, you will come into the sun. The sun will cast an awesome glow and you will require only moderate care to continue to blossom.
After you take care of that patch, more people will see and appreciate the wonders of your garden and life!
Photo courtesy of Freefoto.com
Saturday, March 14, 2009
Get over it!
Come on. It's time to leave the past in the past. No one should ever want to live in remnants of past hurt and pain.
Okay, so he or she did something that will last in your heart forever. Did that person affect everything in your life that much? Can you link that experience(s) to some misfortune you're enduring today? Probably not!
Most people use bad past experiences as the reason why most of their present situations are not going well. Instead of seeking the lesson(s) we can from past interactions, we hold onto the bad vibes as the Bible to our future life and living.
GET OVER IT. No one and nothing should have that much power and control over you.
With every experience, we should seek to find the lesson or blessing. Instead of burying yourself in a world of "woe is me," find the key item that person or persons deposited into your life. Take the "bad" experience and cast it into the wind, after you've purged it from your being.
Seek to use that portion of the event to propel yourself to great heights. Learn how to balance the good and bad in a way that doesn’t destroy you.
In its place unearth the greatness within yourself and understand that you are not responsible for the actions or mistreatment of others. That person was simply not the right fit for you.
Go forward with the understanding that you are made to endure bad and good things. You are not, however, made to keep and carry all those negative items with you forever.
So, come on and get over it. Cleanse yourself of all the things you’ve been carrying for so long. Give the negative energy back to that person. Pick up some positive and use it to refine yourself and your soul!
Okay, so he or she did something that will last in your heart forever. Did that person affect everything in your life that much? Can you link that experience(s) to some misfortune you're enduring today? Probably not!
Most people use bad past experiences as the reason why most of their present situations are not going well. Instead of seeking the lesson(s) we can from past interactions, we hold onto the bad vibes as the Bible to our future life and living.
GET OVER IT. No one and nothing should have that much power and control over you.
With every experience, we should seek to find the lesson or blessing. Instead of burying yourself in a world of "woe is me," find the key item that person or persons deposited into your life. Take the "bad" experience and cast it into the wind, after you've purged it from your being.
Seek to use that portion of the event to propel yourself to great heights. Learn how to balance the good and bad in a way that doesn’t destroy you.
In its place unearth the greatness within yourself and understand that you are not responsible for the actions or mistreatment of others. That person was simply not the right fit for you.
Go forward with the understanding that you are made to endure bad and good things. You are not, however, made to keep and carry all those negative items with you forever.
So, come on and get over it. Cleanse yourself of all the things you’ve been carrying for so long. Give the negative energy back to that person. Pick up some positive and use it to refine yourself and your soul!
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