On to the Next One!!!

In a few days, we shall usher in 2011! Yes to new beginnings!

I don't believe in resolutions. Too often we make poor resolutions and never stick to them.

Instead of resolutions, let's try making reassurances to ourselves and to our loved ones. Reassure yourself that IF you're not in the proper place in your life or frame of mind, that you will work on those improvements. Reassure those who you love and tell them that you do love them.

Tomorrow isn't promised to any of us. We all have stories of people passing who were of varying ages. No matter when our name is called, it is never the right time for those we love or the right time for us, as we did not accomplish this or that. If those we love know that we love them and cherish their existence in our lives, then they will be comforted when we leave the earth. If we follow our hearts more, we shall live without regret!

Reassure yourself and go forth to conquer all your dreams and aspirations. GO FOR IT! Do what you have always dreamed of doing! Complete that bucket list! Tell those closest to you that you love them and what they mean to you and your life. Never live in a world of regrets!

So, it's on to 2011! It's a new year and new opportunity for you to do so very much. On to the next one!

Leave the negative in the past! Leave the energy vampires there as well. Step into a new year with positivity and great desire! You will get what you want!

Your TIONS in order?

I heard some people recently tell me that they don't have this and that or don't require this or that in a mate, however, there are four simple TIONS that every person should come into a relationship with. For that matter, we should have our own personal TIONS lined up as a matter of self growth.

Your TIONS are: educaTION, occupaTION, transportaTION and habitaTION! It is just that simple!

Get yourself an education. No one can take your education from you! An education will also help you to promote yourself in your current position. Employers reward employees for obtaining a higher education.

Get yourself an occupation. Find something you love and go do it OR do the best in the position you have! Jobs are good, but careers are always better.

Get yourself some transportation. Everyone needs to be able to get where they are going on their own. No one wants to be a burden to their friends or in their relationship. Obtain a license, and get yourself some reliable transportation.

Get yourself your own place to lay your head. A small place of your own is always better than relying on others to provide a roof over your head. It does not have to be the Taj Mahal, but it will be yours.

Bringing these simple items into any mix will give a fresh start every situation.

So, do you have your TIONS in order? Does your mate?

Do not put a person out of your life for their lack of a TION here and there, but instead lift them up with encouragement and push them towards obtaining their own. In the end, you both will flourish and simple complaints, hassles and disagreements will not come into the mix.

Thanks for Giving

In this season of Thanksgiving we speak of thanks for those things which are material, but often do not recognize the smaller things for which we should be thankful.

Far too often you do so much for so many and never hear THANK YOU! You give and give and give far beyond your mental, physical and emotional means, and receive very little thanks in return. You are a special person and you deserve to at least be acknowledged for what you do for others. So, if no one has told you THANK YOU recently, then all me.....THANK YOU!!!

THANK YOU for being so open to giving from your heart.

THANK YOU for being the type of person that stands by your beliefs.

THANK YOU for allowing others to rest their weary selves on your shoulders, and you stand strong until they were ready to move.

THANK YOU for having such a big, open heart that more people flocked to you because they saw straight to your goodness.

THANK YOU for not allowing yourself to blame yourself for the shortcomings of others.

THANK YOU for not holding onto the hurt and pain.

THANK YOU FOR GIVING MORE OF YOURSELF THAN YOU EVER GOT IN RETURN!

I could go on, but you get the drift. STOP and take a minute to thank yourself for being the kind, generous and giving person that you are! You are exceptional. If no one else recognizes that fact, then I will for them and the others that didn't take a second to THANK YOU for being the wonderful person you are.

Don't lull in the selfishness of others, but swim in the knowledge that your reward shall come by way of others sooner than later.

Thanks for giving of your time, energy, heart, soul, effort and love. You shall have all your rewards soon enough!

Learn how to stay in your lane!

Beep! Beep! Get out my lane!!!

You don't actually hear people make that statement, but you hear the horn. Some people make that "learn your lane" statement, by way of their actions every day.

Learning how to stay in your lane goes for most things in life. In this instance, it refers to a relationship or a non-relationship relationship. We need to learn how to maintain the proper perspective on our position in life as well as in and out of relationships.

If you entered into a relationship and you both agreed that you both want to maintain a 'friendship with benefits' type of relationship, then you must hold that lane. If you entered into a relationship and you both agreed to be exclusive, then you must maintain that lane. On the flip side if your relationship is over, then you need to realize that you should have exited the highway long ago. No need to hold on. No chasing down a person who does not want you on the same street as them. Notice the word both is italicized. There's no such thing as a team of one, no matter how hard you try.

Learn your lane. Realize that a situation has come about for a specific reason. No need to want to maintain the fast lane, when you're stuck in traffic in the slow lane and no one wants to let you over. Signal as you may, if the person you're with has certain intentions about you, then they will hold you to that position no matter how much you protest.

Learn how to stay in your lane. There's NO coincidence that most highways have at least three lanes. The fast lane; you and your mate are on the same path and moving forward. The middle lane; you and your mate can take it or leave it and nothing has been fully established. The slow lane; you can exit or maybe one person in the relationship already has. In either case, you don't and won't make it to any of the other lanes alone.

Learn your lane or learn how to let go! I wrote the "Let it Go" piece a while back because it was necessary for me to learn how to leave the past in the past; learn my lane. We all need to learn how to maintain our self-respect when it comes to certain situations. No need to profess something is when it clearly isn't. No one looks crazy but YOU!

Learn how to stay in your lane. If you're unsure about your lane, then that's a conversation you and your mate need to have to make sure you're both traveling at the same speed or better, in the same vehicle and direction.

So, if you hear someone beeping, and you know you're in the proper lane, check your rear view and keep it moving. When you are sure about your position in life and your relationship, you will have a clearer mindset when it comes to everything around you.

Realize you can't get any where driving reverse on a highway built to go forward!

Examine your breakfast as a relationship!

Think about this: The chicken is involved but the pig is committed. You get it?

On your plate lay scrambled eggs and bacon. You have two items that will both satisfy your hunger, yet both come into it unequal.

Let's break it down. The chicken laid an egg and contributed to the meal; he was involved. It had input into the meal, however, nothing monumental was given. If needed, the chicken can be involved in other aspects of that meal (aka relationships) or others. Mere involvement in your relationship is good, however, it really doesn't satisfy you if the chicken (your mate) can't commit. Knowing that you're involved and not committed is half stepping.

The pig, however, gave its life for the meal. There was no half stepping with the pig. In order for you to receive your bacon, that pig had to die; he had to commit. Commitment to your relationship shows true knowledge of the heart and which direction you and your mate are going in. Without commitment, there can be no fully satisfying relationship (meal).

See when we are simply involved in a relationship, we often times have a take it or leave it mentality; your head won't commit. When we commit, however, we're all in. There's no turning back. We go for it because our heart is settled.

So, which are you....the chicken or the pig? Are you simply involved in your relationship or are you committed? Chew on it!

Give HIM something to work with.

Okay, the title is self explanatory...don't you think??? Sometimes, however, it just isn't.

No matter what or who you pray to, you must give a higher power something to work with. It's a simple statement and sometimes easier said than done, but it can be done.

Giving up on everything and everyone and feeling total despair isn't what helps us get ahead. So, you went through a situation that wrecked your world or at least you felt it did. So, you made mistakes and have some regrets. It's just NOT the end of the world.

Give HIM something to work with. Realize that in every dark cloud there is a blessing and silver lining. They are not visible initially, but they are there.

Yes, times are hard and can be harder. Pray on your situation today. Be constant and vigilant, but most of all, believe what you ask for and BE SPECIFIC; don't leave HIM blessing. Tomorrow is the best opportunity we have for starting a new.

So, dust yourself off and plant a positive seed towards your future by giving HIM the approval to help work wonders in your life. It will bring about a change like you won't believe, but again, GIVE HIM SOMETHING TO WORK WITH. Think positive. Believe that your trouble won't last always. Know that this too shall pass and when it does, the light at the end of your journey will be bright enough to light a positive and happy future.

Pendulum Effect

Ever feel yourself swinging back and forth between people or situations in your life; those things and people good for you and those you should let go? Well, you are not alone.

We leave relationships that are not good for us and move on only to return in one way or another. The same exists with other negative situations; we find ourselves venturing back. We wish ourselves with the person who wasn't our perfect fit instead of forging ahead to a brand new beginning. We wish ourselves back in a situation that regrettably isn't worth our time and/or effort.

In the odd chance we move forward quickly, we compare the person we met to the one we broke up with. We use the small amount of good times from a bad, past relationship to judge the current, new person instead of looking at the person as their own entity.

What about going back to a relationship, that you were not satisfied in, is truly satisfying? You compliment that person that's done you wrong by wanting another go at a bad thing. Find yourself, find your worth and then forge ahead and find someone who will love you for all that you are. Don't pretend to be something you're not in order to satisfy another. Satisfy yourself first!

When that pendulum has finally stopped, MOVE ON and begin anew. It won't feel good when you start, but after you receive new joys, you will feel better!

Finally, I leave you with something to think about. Sometimes when you are right, you will still be wrong; when its worth it, you will make time, even when none exist; and when you are finally through, your heart will tell you, you've had enough.

Part of a One-on-One Relationship!

Ever feel like there is a part of your mate that is not with you at all times? When that happens, there is a reason for it.

Having part of person's presence and participation in your relationship is not the same as having them all to yourself. If you two agree to have an exclusive relationship, then agree fully to that exclusivity.

If you are the person not feeling the relationship and commitment, then speak to your mate about your feelings. Don't drag the relationship out hoping that things will get better or fade to black. If you are not into that person any longer, then it's best to let them go early instead of dragging the relationship on and eventually all parties involved get hurt.

Time has a way of showing us those things we need to see. More often, we ignore what we see in hopes the person's behavior or action is temporary. All that is done in the dark comes to light. If you can see and feel something wrong, then it's in the light and, therefore, you should pay attention to it.

Part of a one-on-one relationship is the same as being single. You and your mate cannot grow within your relationship if you are both wandering--mentally, physically or emotionally--away from the relationship. You cannot claim to be happy and satisfied within your relationship if you only receive part of someone.

Silence is not always golden. Do not leave your mate wondering how you feel. Do not accept the little bits and pieces you receive from your mate. Don't make excuses for them. In the end, it won't benefit either of you!

Don't settle. Realize that there is someone out there that will be a good fit for you. No one is perfect, however, the behavior within the relationship and towards the person should be....or pretty close to it!

Demand a one-on-one relationship because you deserve that and more.

A new year filled with new beginnings!

Welcome to 2010 ladies and gentlemen!

Last year is gone and a new year and decade has begun. Have you let all the unnecessary business of 2009 go? If not, then get to getting it done! lol

With the start of a new year, we can claim new beginnings and a fresh start to do all things we hoped to conquer but failed to complete in 2009. Now, don't get it twisted. This does NOT mean that you should carry over all the old energy on mislaid plans.

It is a new start and time for you to begin a 'new' venture in your life. No matter the size of your venture, beginning something new always helps to breath life into you. No need to make this a matter of finances. Volunteer to do something within a group or organization. You will bring a smile to someone else and you will feel better about helping someone.

If you are considering a scholastic venture, get to it! There is no better feeling than acquiring your degree. In the words of Nike, JUST DO IT!

Don't be burdened with negative people and events of 2009. If a person has departed you life, it was probably for a reason you can't see now, but will appreciate in time to come.

It's 2010!!! Let's get this party started by enhancing our BEAUTIFUL SOULS!!!